Gary remembers what it felt like to be a number.
For years, his life moved between hospital stays and a group home run by the hospital. The rules were strict. The staff called the hospital on him again and again, and he would sit there for three days before being released, because there was nothing wrong with him. He was taking his medicine. He was doing what he was supposed to do. But in that environment, he was treated like a sick person first and a human being second.
He felt like he was just a number. "He felt like it was unfair," said Lourdes, the Easterseals New Jersey support staff member who works with Gary in Sussex County.
Gary had lived on his own before. He once had his own place, but he lost it during a hospital stay, and the group home was where he landed. Getting out took paperwork, a waiting list, and patience. "It just took time, until there was an opening," Gary said. "There's a lot of people in Sussex County that need Easterseals."
Almost a year ago, the opening came. Today, Gary lives in his own apartment with support from Easterseals New Jersey, and the difference is not small.
"Now I got my freedom and I feel more comfortable," he said. "I have less rules. I could have guests over. You know, I'm a human being."
The support is still there, but it looks different now. Lourdes checks in weekly, helps with food shopping and doctor's appointments, and does a medication check each week. Together they work on budgeting: rent, electricity, groceries, all managed on a tight fixed income. In almost a year, his landlord has never once called about a late payment.
The results speak for themselves. In nearly twelve months with Easterseals, Gary has not had a single relapse or crisis call. The hospital still asks how he is doing, because they did not expect it to go this way. "They're like, oh my God, he's about to be a year, and he's doing that well," Lourdes said.
Part of what changed is trust. When Gary first arrived, Lourdes did not know he had seven siblings. She did not know he had children. He shares those things now, because for the first time in a long time, he is comfortable enough to talk. Most of his family lives out of state, and he has told Lourdes plainly: if it is not her checking on him, nobody is going to. When she came back from vacation, there was a text waiting for her. Welcome back.
"We're the only family that some of our clients have," Lourdes said. "I always tell Gary, all of us have mental illness. It's not only you, we all have it. We just get to support you."
And then there is the part of Gary's story where he becomes the one doing the supporting. Gary is in recovery from a gambling addiction, and he does not hide it. He spent time running a weekly recovery group at the local Mental Health Association drop-in center, open to people fighting all kinds of addictions. His group was different because his addiction was gambling, and because it was nonjudgmental. One week he had the group use the Serenity Prayer to write down three things they wanted to change in their lives. The next week, three things they accept. Gary did the exercise too. He accepts his mental illness and that he has to take medicine. He accepts that he is powerless over gambling. And he accepts that, for right now, he is unemployed.
That last one has an expiration date. The plan for year one was stability: pay the rent, manage the budget, stay healthy. He has done all of it. Employment is the next goal, and Lourdes believes he could go further than a job. The drop-in center has already asked him to come back. She sees a future for him in peer support, sitting across from people who are where he used to be. "He's a great role model for everybody," she said.
Not long ago, Gary's sister invited him to visit her in Florida. He said no. Not because he did not want to see her, but because he did not want to put his rent money anywhere near temptation. That is what a year of stability looks like: a hard decision, made alone, for the right reason.
Ask Gary what Easterseals has done for him, and he does not talk about services. "It gave me a purpose in life," he said. "A reason to show up."
He would tell anyone who asks: "It's a great program, and I would recommend it to anybody."
